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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Piggy on Your Back?

Watch out. I could be the piggy on your back.

Let me explain.

I'm just discovering aps apps. Yeah, I know. Is it like, 2008 again or something? Anyway, I have several ideas for apps that were likely already invented because I basically began using apps months ago yesterday. Even though I did not fully understand apps, I will make it known that I have been remarking there should be an app for that for over a year now just so the cool kids would stop "beaking me" (phrase my teen son spews ad nauseum). And by cool kids I mean my teens (and my wife) who had so much fun last year using the stealth app to mess with me. Maybe I should mention that I don't yet have a cell phone? Illiterate preschoolers text better than I do. And I think my old iPod was the same one used by the Mammoth in Ice Age 2. Oh and I'm 82 years old. But anyway, like always, I begin blathering on about stuff before I actually know anything about it....

Yesterday, my nearly 15 year old son begrudgingly taught me how to operate my new iPod Touch (he's had his own for years) and I was very proud because, as the resident IT staff in our home, he somewhat masked his condescension as I tried to type in various usernames and passwords and credit card information which was more painful than watching my childhood cousins' three-legged pregnant dog aptly named "Pokey" attempt to run across the yard, and then type. So he finally just entered all my data and now he knows all my passwords. Er, that's probably not going to be a problem, right? Finally we were able to started playing with it. First, the camera:
Is it just me or does my son
resemble Mike Tyson?















Soon I had several apps (for free, because I'm cheap like that) like face-time (!) and twitter (!) and uh, a calculator. And then I tweeted from my Ipod for the first time. My hashtags? #icanttypeonthiscauseimold #oldthubs. Yup, old thubs. Wow. That word speaks so succinctly to my ineptitude.

Somewhere during all of this, that iPod Touch BLEW MY MIND and now I'm addicted and I am imagining all the ways to "iCreate." My brain is totally "glitching out" (son's phrasing again). I'm stuck in app mode and everywhere I look I see possibilities for applications (because that's what apps is short for, I think). Anyway. I forgot where I was going with this. Oh yeah: piggybacks....

Peeps: I love reading your blogs on Saturday morning instead of doing all the things I once did on Saturday mornings:                         . Your clever ideas impress me so. Ideas I can steal use as springboards. Or as I prefer to say: I can piggy-on-the-back of your idea. Already I have a few piggy-back apps inspired by all the time my son and I have wasted since yesterday recording our voices various ways thanks to the "Talking Tom" app.

For example, maybe you, like Charlie (don't worry, not that Charlie) could use what I would call the "Pavlovian Electrical Zap App for Dogs," a simple sound effect that might prevent your dog from burning down your house or at least royally pissing you off. And thanks to Sarah's inspiration, may I present "The Tommy Lee Jones Voice App." Simply record yourself making a commanding command and hear it replayed in Tommy Lee Jones' voice. Voila: instant gravity brought to any situation. And thanks to Duffmano, the "Faye Dunaway in Mommy Dearest CSI App" could be very useful too if you, like me, have raised brats. 

Now please excuse me while I attempt to bungle my way through changing all my passwords.

11 comments:

Oilfield Trash said...

I feel so out of touch since I don't have an itouch or ipad.

Antares Cryptos said...

I have gamer's thumb.

wendy said...

When you wrote. "I'm just discoverying apps".......at FIRST glance, I thought it said ABBS....like your 6 pack abbs.
phewy, I don't know the first thing about an IPod, IPad, I'm over the whole Maxi pad thing.....all too much for me.
I am the QUEEN of Ice Age.
We have one archaic cell phone between us, never tweeted , oh I mean Twitter.......
But I am HAPPY you are enjoying your apps.......
and WHY do we call it "piggy back"
I have never seen anyone on the back of a piggy.
WHY don't we say "horse back"??

The Gaelic Wife said...

So if you're 82 and have an almost 15 year old son, then the Charlie you mentioned wasn't Sheen but Chaplin. And you're, what, carrying on the family tradition?

Al Penwasser said...

What's a cell phone? Is that something you use to call your lawyer from jail?

Mrs. Tuna said...

I'm scared, hold me.

PS Happy birtday to your dad too.

Cheeseboy said...

I have an i nothing. I like your ideas though. LOL @ Gaelic Wife.

DB Stewart said...

@OT You're not out of touch. Makers of technology want us to feel out of touch. That's their big marketing scheme I think.
@AC Ditto.
@wendy Ha! I'd rather have abs and piggy back is an odd one isn't it?
@TheGW Ha!
@Al Most likely.
@Mrs.Tuna *holds you but secretly thinking that my kindness means you will make some food for me*
@Cheeseboy An iNothing. That is clever. That should be on snl.

Nicole Leigh Shaw said...

As a proud owner of a new iPad, I'm with you all the way. I'd comment more but I need to spend some time, you guessed it, app shopping.

Elly Lou said...

I downloaded angry birds, but then I got distracted. I might suck at technology. I can't even focus long enough to figure out the NPR one.

Nicki said...

Someone tell Nicole to hush up about her new iPad, because other bloggers are getting seriously iPad envy. I mean, not ME, of course. I don't need an amazing interactive tablet that play movies, surf the web, make pictures, and turn water into wine. Ahem.

I just got a Blackberry in February after years of texting T9 style. It was like visiting the technological chocolate factory. I swam in the chocolate river of unlimited data usage, and it felt good. Soooo good.

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