|Image from here.|
I don't know much about horses. Never owned a horse. Never broke a horse. Never trained a horse. Never even been on a horse's back by myself. I've certainly never beaten a horse, alive or dead. And yet I've been beating a few dead horses my entire life. And watching others beat their dead horses too.
1. Assume yours is a dark horse. (Delude yourself into believing this information came straight from the horse’s mouth.)
2. Lead your horse to water. Try to make it drink. Try again. Try x 12. Try twice more.
3. Finally get off your high horse.
4. Embittered, scream and shout. Screw you and the horse you rode in on! (Act like a horse's ass.)
5. Quit horsing around. Beat that dead horse. (Wild horses could not drag you away.)
6. Pause. (Hold your horses.)
7. Beat the horse some more. Ride the horse some more. (Ignore your horse sense.)
8. Finally, if the horse is dead (because truly, it always was) GET OFF!
9. Rationalize that your horse was likely Trojan and you won't fall for that nonsense again. Silly.
10. Repeat all steps expecting different results.