Monday, December 27, 2010

Walrus-ness

The Walrus:
-a large, flippered, marine mammal easily recognized by its tusks, whiskers and great bulk, especially in the chest and stomach area.
-the origin of its name is a combination of the appropriately chosen words “whale” and “horse.”
-can weigh up to 4500 pounds.
-its name is practically synonymous with the word “blubber.”

I have always respected these creatures but truthfully, something that happened a few years ago gave me a new appreciation for the walrus.

I love snowmobiling and skiing and skating but probably my favourite winter activity is sledding. It’s fun to partake in and watch. I really appreciate that the only slightly athletic skill involved is mild bravery. It’s simultaneously suspenseful and hilarious—spectators wince and cringe then remark, “Oh, that’s going hurt later.”  Injuries are usually minor and one is often inspired to laugh through the pain mostly because everyone else is too busy laughing to provide medical assistance. Anyone can “get air.” And let’s be honest—Canadians were born to sled.

Anyway...once while whooshing face-first down an icy hill on a wide, flat, duct-tape enhanced, surfboard-like sled, I skidded to a stop near a tree and my young daughter looked down at me, smiled and said, “It’s SO great how you embrace your walrus-ness!”


At first, I thought 911 might be necessary because my evil wife was laughing hard enough to burst a major blood-vessel. Indeed, I laughed too; I knew the speaker intended this as a complement. Later though, after my wife had conveyed this story repeatedly to about ninety-eight people, I started to think about what my daughter actually meant by this statement and I believe she made an excellent point.

Do you ever feel like a walrus? In particular, are you feeling like one right now? Why not embrace it?


It reminds me of the famous poem “The Walrus & the Carpenter” of Alice in Wonderland fame. The only part I remember is this: “the time has come to talk of many things: of shoes, and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.”


Yes the time has come folks: pigs really can have wings. And so do we walruses, especially when we “get air” sledding down an icy hill.  Want to feel light and free and forget your worries (or your holiday-enhanced belly)? Well. Just jump on a sled and let your walrus sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.*

*Blogger friends in warmer locales may have to visit a water park to walrus it up but it feels just as great there too.

18 comments:

Alittlesprite said...

My part of the world is in crisis at the moment. Flooding everywhere, town being cut off, bridges swept away, roads closed. I don't think ANYONE wants to visit a waterpark here right now.. LOL!
But.. In february we go on our coastal holiday. I'm taking the boogie boards and fully intend to do some walrussing in the ocean then.

dbs said...

Wow. I didn't know it was this serious. I will check out the news online. Take care of yourselves.

Laoch of Chicago said...

"Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob."

Mrs. Tuna said...

I refuse to embrace my inner walrus, it has more to do with the 153 pounds of food I've eaten in the last 10 days, burp.

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

I let my inner walrus shine when we go snowtubing once a year! LOL We have so much fun riding the giant innertubes down the side of the mountains. :) We are, however, not very graceful.

Vinny C said...

I am now inspired to go to the water park again... and actually hit the slides this time.

dbs said...

@LoC I wondered when I posted this if someone who be thinking about John Lennon's walrus & eggman.
@MrsTuna I hear ya.
@KL Yes, it's a beautiful thing despite the lack of grace.
@VinnyC Never hesitate again. And wear a speedo. (Okay even I wouldn't do that.)

Elly Lou said...

DAMNIT! Laoch of Chicago stole my line. I guess we are here together, then.

I feel like a Walrus after eating a year's worth of biscuits while I was home. Sweet mother of buttermilk I may never eat again.

Elly Lou said...

Also? I like it when we simultaneously comment. Also that sounds dirty.

dbs said...

@ Elly Lou :)

Sandra said...

I'm a Canadian living in Winnipeg who was born to live in the tropics!
Great post! I could visualize it perfectly!

Missy said...

Oh yeah! I can sense the Walrus in myself...

Cheeseboy said...

The imagery of you sliding on your belly like a walrus is pure.

Do walruses slide? I thought that was penguins. I am sure walruses slide, what am I thinking?

Great post.

Alittlesprite said...

Its pretty bad. Whole towns are being evacuated. I saw some houses on the news and all you can see it the roof sticking out of water. I feel so sorry for these people! And they say in some areas it is still going to be another two weeks before the waters reach their peek! Its insane!

dbs said...

@alittlesprite I watched the news just an hour ago and was shocked by the devestation. Thinking of you. Keep us updated when you can.

Artist and Geek said...

Rooooooosebud.
I wonder if I still fit on a cafeteria food tray...

dbs said...

@A&G Your clever comments should have their own blog. Who are you?!

Artist and Geek said...

dbs-thanks. I appreciate it. I want one, but just can't justify the time involved. Probably, with all the supportive online encouragement, just a matter of time before I find the perfect excuse...

As to who I am? DUDE! Way to existential ;)

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